By His Grace

Posts Tagged ‘eating disorder


“I will instruct you (says the Lord) and guide you along the best pathway for your life; I will advise you and watch your progress.” Psalms 32:8 (LB)

When have you sensed God’s guidance leading you in a difficult direction? If so, what did you do?

We may be called to do something that nobody else will understand.  He may be leading us in a direction that we have never tried before.  In fact, I believe that most of the time this to be true.  Does God keep sending us back through the same situation or does He give us His loving guidance to move forward, to step out into new things?

If the only step that is clear is the next step, then just take it!  I don’t often know what the next 2, 3 or 10 steps will be.  But God will give me an inner conviction on the step that’s right in front of me.  So I take it.  That involves strong faith and trust in the God who has brought me through some very dark times.

“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.” Joshua 1:9(NIV)

I think about how scary my life was at one point.  The situations I put myself in.  The near-death experiences when my body shut down.  Waking up in a locked-down mental ward in 4-point restraints and not remembering what happened the night before.  But even through all that, I don’t remember having a lot of fear.  I was full of chemical courage.  The only time I got scared was when I started getting some clarity.  And boy is clarity hitting me in the face these past two weeks!  The devil is reminding me of that chemical courage and I have had a fight on my hands.  But my Lord is pulling me through this, it’s only Him.  My history shows that I do not have the strength on my own.  The Lord is my strength!  All credit and glory goes to Him!

What are your priorities in your daily schedule?

Do you include seeking God’s guidance as one of those priorities?

I encourage you to seek God’s loving guidance on a daily basis.  Add it to your morning prayer.  Stick a note on your coffee pot or your steering wheel to remind yourself before you leave for work.  We are faithful followers of Jesus Christ, aren’t we?  With that comes a responsibility to seek Him, talk to Him, ask Him and TRUST Him.

As we seek His loving guidance, don’t forget to see His blessings in the process!


Create in me a clean heart, O God.  Renew a right spirit within me.” Psalm 51:10 (NLT)

Wouldn’t that be a great name for a game show, “What’s Your Motive”?  Motives are a sort-of mind game, aren’t they?.   It’s ultimately about our intention to have you believe something or to acquire something we want.  Motives can be good or bad, wrong or right, pure or impure.

Have you even known someone who always seems to operate with a hidden agenda?  You know the one.  The one who is “fake”.  The one you can’t trust.  The one who whenever he/she is talking is more than likely lying to you?  Do you remember when you first found out this person had a hidden agenda?  When you figured out this person’s method of operation was tricking you, and deceiving you for their personal gain?  Maybe it was subtle.  Maybe they just want you to believe something that they are not.  You feel deceived…..betrayed… you got kicked in the stomach.   

You see, I was one of those people.  In active addiction, that was my m.o.    I wasn’t like that when sober though.   No where near it.  As days of sobriety started to add up, God revealed to me the subconscious manipulation methods I used in order to get people to do what I wanted.  He showed me how I could be subtle in my intent and that my motive was not pure.  I wasn’t trying to hurt anybody.  It had become a learned behavior and half the time I wasn’t even aware of it.

So I ask God to help me stay sensitive to the motives of my heart.  I ask God to bring to the surface the little bits &pieces of impurity that may have lingered or have worked their way back in again.

“Grant me purity of heart, that I may honor you.” – Psalms 86:11

God doesn’t reveal these things to me so I will feel bad about myself.  That is what the devil wants me to believe.  I use to live in a constant state of guilt & shame (see my post about forgiving myself).  God knew my self esteem was unstable back then, and in time I would heal.  But now He reveals the condition of my heart so that I can repent any unconfessed sin.  I want Him to.  I ask Him for this.  He reveals my subtle motives so that I can become pleasing in His sight.  So I can change.   So I can honor Him.

God knows my heart.  He knows me better than I do.  God knows that I really don’t want to hurt people or even hurt myself.  He knows I wanted to change and I wanted to please Him but I couldn’t do that until He showed me the motives of my heart.  It’s important that I keep my motives in check on a daily basis.  Without purity of heart, I won’t be able to move forward to what the Lord wants for my life. 

This was probably one of the hardest things I had to change and it’s an ongoing process.  But don’t be discouraged.  It can and does happen if you allow Christ to work in your life.  “Commit your works to the Lord, and your thoughts will be established.” Proverbs 16:3(NKJV)  I was a tough nut to crack, stubborn and resisted change, even though I wanted to change!!  I had to commit to reading God’s Word and learning all I could about God’s character and what He wants from me and what I can expect from Him.  I became hungry for the Word and that hunger hasn’t stopped!  I was allowing God to speak to my heart and open to receive His love and grace.  Satan’s lies were so engrained in me and I knew this wasn’t going to be easy.  So all the energy I had put into my addicted days, I used to immerse myself in the Bible and Christian books. 

I started to learn what was Satan’s lies and what was the Truth (see my post “The Devil and His Tactics”). I started changing!  I started getting inspired!  I stopped listening to rock music and started listening to only Christian music.  I started dressing more modestly.  I started paying attention to my speech and my cursing.  When I gained the desire to please the Lord, my way of thinking started to change.  The apostle Paul says in Philippians 3:12-13, “I don’t mean to say that I have already achieved these things or that I have already reached perfection!  But I keep working toward that day when I will finally be all that Christ Jesus saved me for and wants me to be.  ….I am still not all I should be, but I am focusing all my energies on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead.” (NLT)  Thank you Paul, I couldn’t have said it better myself. Smile

One of the first and most interesting things I learned in my early recovery of addiction was learning about just how the devil and his demons operate.  Knowing how Satan and his workers (demons) affect my mind and thoughts has helped me tremendously.  The Bible tells us in I Peter 5:8 (NLT), “Be careful! Watch out for attacks from the devil, your great enemy.  He prowls around like a roaring lion, looking for some victim to devour.”

The devil will suggest ways for us not to suffer.  

How many times have we heard that little voice in our head saying,”You don’t have to suffer like this.  One drink is all you need to take the edge off.  Just use a little bit and you’ll feel so much better.”

Satan tempted Jesus in this way.  When Jesus fasted for 40 days in the wilderness, He was famished.  This made Him vulnerable and in a weakened state.  Satan knew this and made his move.  He tempts Jesus by saying, “If you are the Son of God, change these stones into loaves of bread.” (Mat. 4:3  NLT)  Why suffer like this, right?  All you have to do is take a little bit, right?  Perhaps Jesus felt like God forgot about Him and felt abandoned.  Perhaps Jesus became confused by hunger pains and thought that eating just a little bit of bread won’t hurt.  Even in this weakened state Jesus remained strong and committed, responding to the devil by saying, “No! The Scriptures say, ‘People need more than bread for their life; they must feed on every word of God.’ ” (Mat. 4:4  NLT)   Jesus continued to trust God and did not give into the devil’s little trick.

How many times have we fell for this tactic of the devil?  How many times have we given in to him saying, “Why suffer when all you have to do is…..?”  These words, “all you have to do….” play in our heads and it’s important to remember that this is Satan planting a thought in our mind.  Our mind is the devil’s favorite way to get us to sin, which is why it’s vital to know the Truth, study the Bible and be aware of the devil’s tactics.  This will enable us to stand firm, be strong and not give in.

Other Tactics:

Satan knows it is more difficult to resist him if we are excessively tired or hungry.

Satan wants you to think you are mentally deficient—that something is wrong with you.

He wants you to think you are mentally deficient so you will not attempt to do anything about it.  He wants you to think that’s “just the way I’m made”.

Satan frequently steals the will of God from us due to reasoning (trying to figure out the “why” behind something).  The Lord may direct us to do a certain thing, but if it does not make sense—if it is not logical—we may be tempted to disregard it.

An inability to concentrate could indicate a mental attack from the devil.

Satan wants us to passively accept whatever lies he tells us.

Satan will use other people to try and weaken you.  A good example of this is if you’re in an abusive or toxic relationship or some “old friends” will come around.  He especially comes at you like this if he sees you’re getting stronger and are resisting him more.  Don’t give in, keep resisting and he will flee (James 4:7)!

A little about name is Michele and I am a born-again Christian. I was saved as a teenager and graduated from a Christian high school. I am a mother of one son who is the world to me. Despite my upbringing, later in life I fell into a life of self destruction which led me down many dark paths. I am a recovering addict and alcoholic and I have a great passion for Christ and His amazing power to heal even the worst cases. I am living proof of the miracle of God's power to change your life and way of thinking. Nothing is impossible with God.


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