By His Grace

Posts Tagged ‘enemy

I’ve been slowly feeling this black cloud forming over me.  My thoughts are not what they should be and I feel the enemy attacking me.  I feel like I’m drifting from God and it’s really eating away at me.  For some reason I don’t feel the closeness I was experiencing recently with my Savior.  I know it’s me and I need to do some soul searching and find out where the root cause is coming from.  I’ve been having really horrible violent dreams and there is an inner turmoil going on inside me.  I don’t like it.  The enemy is using my vulnerability against me right now and he knows when I am weak.  Old feelings are surfacing and I’m uncomfortable.  I’m disappointed in myself.  I’m disappointed that my prayer life is lacking.  I’m disappointed that I’m not reading my Bible on a regular basis.  I’m disappointed that I just can’t seem to stop swearing no matter how much I pray about it.  I’m disappointed that I’m not eating healthy food like I use to and have gained 3 pounds.  I’m disappointed that I didn’t go to church the other day just because I didn’t feel like it.

I realize this post isn’t the usual for me, but I need to use my blog today as an outlet and share with you what I’m going through.  I look at all of you who read my blog as a source of strength and encouragement and I have made some wonderful friends in the process.  It probably sounds like I’m whining, and I don’t like being a whiner. 

I think I have to go back to the basics, and just start sitting down and doing my Bible study like I use to.  I always enjoyed that.  I would spread out different translations of the Bible on my table and read about a topic or specific scripture and journal about it.  I hear in my head “practice what you preach, Michele!”.  That’s my name, by the way. Smile  Thanks for reading.

A little about name is Michele and I am a born-again Christian. I was saved as a teenager and graduated from a Christian high school. I am a mother of one son who is the world to me. Despite my upbringing, later in life I fell into a life of self destruction which led me down many dark paths. I am a recovering addict and alcoholic and I have a great passion for Christ and His amazing power to heal even the worst cases. I am living proof of the miracle of God's power to change your life and way of thinking. Nothing is impossible with God.


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